oh displeasure. some days do come nicely giftwrapped in agony and the fulsome ribbon on top is my self-control...blade curled into obedience and ready for the trashing of a lifetime. i don't know what i ate today. i talked alternately way, way too much and not even close to enough. and then i'm sitting here, doing my paper for my decision-making class. doing...based on junior year english joanne. i was looking forward to writing this paper but apparently, not enough that i remembered it was ever due. i haven't read a book in a long time so this is koshe.

"All of Frank's external conflicts illuminate his internal plight: that "this part of my life may someday be...hard to remember with precision, and that sometimes I feel beyond affection's grasp" (171). That he fully admits his detachment, to himself and to others, clearly exposes his character, at least on the surface. The difference between his perception of himself and others' perception of him is that he knows that this is only a phase. For after the climax of Independence Day, when his troubled son Paul is seriously injured, both Ann and Sally detect the change, or emergence, of Frank's persona as one very much capable of emotional involvement. The dynamism of Frank's character lies in his emergence from an emotional seclusion."

teehee...compare this, if you will [i just found this] to notes i took in the class.

"jusqu'e system prout beter a peu system then one, fish youth. how society is changed by individuals who change themself? those who great regimes (oeiu) rule. organic farming. la pol la solidarite."

um. ;^) at least there's that. ...oh, self-control. i'm not myself in the same way as i'm usually not myself. the seasonal way of nyssma and APs ici traduit into everything. like...i watched rushmore twice this week. i might've had an original thought sometime this month but no. i ruin everything capriciously and with my eyes closed and then i wait for summer magic to enter the heart of darkness. it's really very dark. but summers, i can't even trust anymore. [shock fade to green leaves].
* but maybe i can deserve one :^P