why i don't like umbrellas:
i haven't liked umbrellas since practically forever. this antipathy may have its roots in the peculiar but understandable fact that i have never had an umbrella of my own, and in fact, that the umbrellas that i saw and hung out with with any regularity were maltreated little creatures from eddie bauer, all bought on a whim by my mother and just as cavalierly reduced to garage decor status. it is not in fact as if we lived or do live in the sahara desert. but we did not view umbrellas as necessary. and so a certain pride, an aloofness developed. after all, raincoats smack much more of romanticism - molly of the american girls collection (i do own that raincoat and to this day get all hot and perspiry in it when it rains - it's REALLY lined in asbestos, just like molly's!) or the gordon's fisherman, or what have you. men on the newfoundland coast for whom umbrellas of course are a nonentity and um, fuck ponchos. (nothing against the occasional poncho escapade, but really). and so in a country in korea, where supposedly the rain is SO bad and SO just an aqueous compound of the shit in seoul's air and will SO make your hair fall out, i find myself doubly frustrated. i still am not the type of person to buy an umbrella and yet i am constantly exhorted to, what else, but "bring an umbrella! yes i know you have a hood. what is your problem just bring the umbrella!" and i don't, pretending in my convenient kyopo way not to understand anything of this bright and confounding world around me. and then! this terrible bondage that comes with sharing an umbrella with a shorter cousin who does not understand why you can't just walk straight, or in the right direction, or why you are so fricking tall that you are threatening ths umbrella's personal space. the other thing about umbrellas is, of course, the futility. no matter what sort of umbrella you are staunchly carrying, you will get wet. rain is not purely vertical and car tires are not always solicitous. when you shut the umbrella your hands will get wet. when you take a shower you will get wet. at least - i always get wet, my feet always get wet (my dislike of socks is a whole other story and an easier told one) and so just get over it, already! all of this applies by the way not only to korea but to america and um everywhere.