it makes me mad sometimes, but not very mad and not very long. awake on a saturday morning, listening to new mp3s, drinking choco cafe, rob's waterman pen on my desk and fin exam on the horizon. yesterday for nearly no reason at all i spent my available afternoon time walking downtown w/ veronica and kenny, then came back having forgotten about jenn's birthday dinner. so feeling sheepish and guilty until rob called and i hopped a train to swarthmore. where it was halloooweeeeen. i couldn't believe it, especially since i'd been talking to someone about costumes and the pathetic state of halloween here at least last year. "i can't believe you didn't TELLLL me!" boy oh boy. me = sad a/f style, which is funny enough for swat...but lamely and too ironically in comparison to a herd of smurfs and boys wrapped in cellophane parading around. even godiva. it's amazing to go there. this feeling of stress being spread thin over large grassy swaths of land, rose gardens, and the like... fuckin like...everything like a movie.

i mean - halloween on a saturday night by merit of wanting things that way. a broadcasting radio station with a million comps of jermaine dupri. so like listening to sigur ros, jay-z...destroyer. wow. anger and happiness that this should impress me. having a lusty infatuation with sexy bugs and cowboys from deep springs [yo. i'm not kidding.] a damp damp party at m-l. shuttle vans. then haplessly back to penn, which is a beautiful surprising ride of strip malls turning into west philadelphia. 2.5 cigarettes, the gritty penn reality of philly diner (aaron is the best waiter ever, i really think) and then large grassy swath of sleep. that fin exam, now...but yesterday a boy jumped out of the 8th floor window of my building.