worrying about amnesia

who even knows or remembers how often i've written about my concern about forgetting things that happen to me. in my own life! let alone in daydreams. and my reaction to this sad tendency is so mechanical. for example; making lists. or writing in a diary. or trying to tell myself it doesn't matter. but i never really question why it is that i forget things so easily.

before coming out of my room to type this up, i tried to remember what i could even write here. like, what did i do today? i could make a list if i were so inclined. i went to the fermented food expo which was held at the jeonju world cup stadium. i went to see an english language festival for secondary school students and then went out to eat jjajangmyun with one of my fave teachers , his wife, and his two rambunctious tiny boys. but in doing, i totally forgot the bag with the strawberry wine and president brie that i had bought earlier (at the fermented food expo!) oh no. and all day i was really paranoid about boys in one way or another.

and in other news - i'm such a scaredy cat of spending lots of money at once. i admit. i'll gladly spend lots of money cumulatively on little silly things but it's really rare that i get so moved to buy something big. like an ipod. or an airplane ticket. or a digital camera. okay i just have to work on the digital camera for now. part of me knows that i've been spending too much money on silly little things (like long distance phone calls or like clothes i don't even wear). from now on i am going to try to spend the right amount of money on the right things - like taekwondo lessons and cute socks!

and also i climbed a mountain this past tuesday - it was the "back mountain" behind our school, which wasn't a huge hike but offered great views of southern jeonju (mostly forefront rice fields and background apartment buildings). and yesterday i went to buan and watched as wang saewoo (king shrimp? jumbo shrimp?) were poured live into a pan filled with salt and then roasted, toasted, and burned to a crisp. pretty gross. i wonder about my amnesia and also my being able to eat meat.